I'm Moving!

Well, my blog is.

After much thought and the recent acquisition of a phone that can post pictures and videos to the web super quick and easy, I've decided to make the switch to Tumblr.

You can now find all of my hopes, dreams, and other general sap posted for all the world to see at http://gowestgirl.tumblr.com/ Do bookmark it. And visit often. I hope to post more this year.

But just in case you're in the mood for some vintage Sarah, this blog will stay up and running for now.

Farewell, blogger. It's been real.

Living the Dream

Over the course of the past two and a half weeks, I have had a lot of time, maybe too much time, to reflect on my life in Seattle. Being back home I've seen a lot of old friends and acuquaintances who, now that we've all been out of school for a few years, have either settled into "real jobs" with 9-5 workdays, medical benefits, and two-day weekends, or have happily taken on domesticity, marriage, and even kids. Though it's been nice to reconnect with people, every visit has brought up insecurities, fears, doubts, even shame, about my own employment and relationship statuses. I've shed a lot of tears this break, struggling with how different my life looks from the lives of the people I grew up with and the people I graduated with two and a half years ago.

I've done this my whole life. I am the queen of making myself feel bad about my life because it doesn't compare to someone else's. But in the past few days, it's finally started to occur to me just how blessed, even spoiled, I am.

A friend of mine posted this quote from The Wonder Years to his Tumbleblog last week and it's gotten me thinking.

"When you’re a little kid, you’re a little bit of everything. Artist, scientist, athlete, scholar… Sometimes it seems like growing up is the process of giving those things up. One by one. I guess we all have one thing we regret giving up. One thing we really miss that we gave up because we were too lazy or, we couldn’t stick it out or, because we were afraid."

Here's the thing. I am living the dream. No, I don't have steady employment. Or a normal work schedule. Or a weekend off until March 12 and 13 (who wants to go skiing??). And, yes. I am on food stamps and live on an 800 dollar a month budget. But I don't have student loans. Or car payments. Or credit card debt. Or any mouths but my own to feed.

And because of those blessings, I haven't had to give up what I love yet. I'm not making much, but I am getting paid to work in theater. I act. I direct. I create. I play. I teach kids, teenagers, and grown-ups to be creative and discover imaginary worlds everywhere. My schedule is crazy and confusing... and I'm still not sure how to fit a social life into it... but when all is said and done.. I believe in what I am doing. And I would regret walking away from it right now. I know that someday I might need to get a "real job" at a bank, or a corporation, or a school. But for now, God continues to open doors, and I am so grateful to keep at this crazy life of mine.

So, at the start of this new year, I'm turning the page. I'm done whining about my employment status. I am blessed. And if you hear me say otherwise, call me out on it.

As for complaints about my relationship status. I can't make any promises. But that's a post for another day. My girl Flannery O'Connor put it best: "A good man is hard to find."

Happy New Year, Friends!

Resolve.

I’m sitting in the Dallas/Fort Worth airport at 5:30 AM. Starbucks isn’t open yet and I can’t find an internet hotspot anywhere. I've just gotten some of the worst sleep of my life, tossing and turning through a red eye flight. And strangely, for the first time in a very long while.. I can actually focus on some of the thoughts that have been bubbling in my head lately.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

I turn 25 next month. I don't have a steady job. I'm beyond single (and a half dozen of my best friends are getting married this year). My family and friends are strewn across the country. A quarter-life crisis seems like a completely reasonable turn for my life to take, right?

The truth is, I miss JMU. I miss being on the same page with all of my friends and not feeling inadequate because I didn't move to the big city they moved to or because I didn't go the traditional route with my career or because I haven't met "the one." I miss constant socialization. Salsa nights. Dhall dinners. Football games. And honestly, I miss studying. The library. Having books to read (even if I never finished most of them) and, better yet, papers to write (because I'm a dork like that).

But I'm not in college anymore. So I need to figure out how to rejoice in the life I have now.

So, since the new year is almost upon us, I've written up a list of resolutions. I have discovered this year that for me to reach my creative potential, I need structure, goals, and planning. I hope this is a start.

-Start every day by reading a psalm aloud.

-Set some "office hours" every week in which I get out of my bed, walk across the street to my neighborhood coffee shop, and write lesson plans, answer e-mails, read, and journal.

-Hit snooze 5 times instead of 10 (baby steps.)

-Read one new book a month. I will stop checking out multiple books at once, starting them all and never finishing them. I will read one book at a time. And when I am done, I'll write about it.

-Discover more music. Write about it.

-See more movies. Write about them.

-Blog weekly. Journal daily.

-Initiate at least one intentional coffee date/brunch/happy hour a week.

-Get people together more. Plan some social events.

-Cook one new recipe a month. Preferably with/for friends. I've only busted my crockpot out once since moving to my house. That is not ok.

-Stop letting facebook/twitter suck away my life. I will only log on once a day for no more than 15 minutes a day. Period.

-Stop watching trash tv. Friday Night Lights is obviously the exception. (but it's no trash, anyway).

-Join a gym.

-Do more Yoga.

-Hold all goals & resolutions with open hands. Give God room to change my plans.

Dear Santa

Now that I've purchased myself Mumford and Sons "Sigh No More" as an early Christmas / music to listen to on my cross-country flight present, all I really want for Christmas is a man who plays banjo.

Seriously. Make this magic happen, big guy.

I Believe.

Love,
Sarah

p.s. I've included video evidence here just in case you need any more convincing.

FaLaLaLaLa!

Every Christmas, instead of Christmas cards, I send out a mix CD of Christmas music. Starting in November, I hunt my personal arsenal of carols and search the internet for new and exciting holiday tunes that will make my friends and family feel merry and bright without driving them to the brink of insanity.

Up until this year, only a limited few have had access to the coveted annual mix. But this year, thanks to the wonders of the world wide web, my Christmas Mix is available to all!

Just click the link below, enter the password HoHoHo (capitalization does count), and download your very own copy!

The 2010 Christmas Mix

Song of the Day: "Home," by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

I'm headed back to Virginia tonight. For four days, I will not think about my future or my past or any of the stresses that seem to weigh on me every day I'm out here. Instead, I'll hug my brothers and kiss my dad and snuggle on the couch with my mom. I'll eat barbecue and drink sweet tea and watch lots of football.

Of course, I know that when I fly back to Seattle on Monday morning, my heart will be aching and my head will be spinning with thoughts of home, and I'll still be wondering if I'll ever find my place in the world.

So what is it about home that means so much to me? I've written about this before.. but it's something I've been thinking about a lot over the past year.

I've always envied those people who've lived in the same place their whole lives. Who have all of their family in one place. Whose friends have known them since they were babies, because they're the children of parents whose friends have known them since they were babies, and so on, and so on..

But then I look at Jesus, who was essentially homeless, who was rejected by his hometown, who in Matthew 10 tells me that if I love my mother and father more than I love him, I'm not worthy of being his.

That's a hard pill to swallow.

Isn't this the same guy who just one chapter later says "Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest for your soul."

I've been stuck on these passages for a few days now, trying to sort this all out.

This is what I've got so far: I think Jesus wants to be our home, our comfort, our family. And that home can be anywhere, because he is everywhere. Not only that, but he also calls us to love others like family, to open our hearts and lay down roots with everyone, not just those we've known since birth.

Does that mean I won't cry when I step off the plane tomorrow morning and see my brothers and parents and grandparents waiting for me? Absolutely not. My family is a blessing that I've learned not to take for granted. But I'm also learning that family is not my God. So when I fly west again on Monday, maybe I'll be able to hold back the tears and trust that in Christ, home comes with me wherever I go.

Ingrid.

I've told you more than once about my love for Ingrid Michaelson.

But seriously.

I think Ingrid is my musical soulmate, at least for this season of my life. Her music was an emotional touchstone throughout my transition to Seattle, and her words do much better than mine to express the angst and frustrations that a creative, independent woman feels in her 20's. I can't count the number of times I've listened to "Maybe" or "Are we there yet" while thinking about the uncertainties of my future and the people and places I've let go of over the past few years. Or the times I've sung along to "Be Ok" and "Winter Song" on the verge of tears because in those songs I can hang on, knowing that someone else feels what do.

So, I'm kind of a big fan, ok?

And tonight, I finally got to see Ingrid live.

Since it's almost 1am and I have to telefund from 10am-5pm tomorrow (awesome life, right?), I've reduced my review of the show to a Letterman late-night top 10... except I'm tired, so it's going to be reduced to a top 5. Without any further ado:

The Top 5 Reasons Ingrid Michaelson is even better live than she is on my ipod. (Alternate title: Top 10 Reasons I want to be Ingrid's BFFAE)

5. She quoted bon-qui-qui. No joke. In her intro to "once was love" (which she dedicated to lee-anne rimes, fyi) she said that if a man doesn't treat a lady right anymore he "GOTS TO GO."

4. She's really funny. Watching her live was like watching a variety show. Stand-up comedy, music, and.. of course, dance numbers (see #1)

3. She covered night swimming by REM with just her voice and a looping pedal. And told a really funny story about the first time she did the song at Carnegie Hall and then got drunk and embarrassed herself in front of frontman Michael Stipe.



2. She totally mocked the whole encore tradition by hiding with her band underneath a sheet onstage while everyone clapped. Then, when they actually performed the encore it was a 90's punk-rock version of "The Way I Am." I felt like I was on the set of 10 things I Hate About You.

1. The last song in her set was Toxic by Britney Spears. Which was then followed by a glee-style choreographed dance/bow to the original. Complete with a secret handshake.



All in all, a fantastic night out. Next up: Sufjan Stevens on Saturday. Get jealous.