Saturday, August 22, 2009
SOTD: Caedmon's Call, "Table for Two"
Being single is rough sometimes.
It's not that I'm not content with who I am and where I am in life. No, I really do believe that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now---if I were in a relationship, how could I even consider packing up my life and moving to a city I'd never laid eyes on before? But when I think about the future, I don't see it as a one-woman show. Though I'm having great adventures now, I'm starting to get tired of going it alone. Soon, I think I'll want to adventure with someone else.
And sometimes I worry if I'm missing my chance. In all my time growing and discovering myself, am I closing myself off to my chance of having a husband and a family? I read this article today about Christians and the resurgence of young marriage and it stressed me out. I can't be past my prime already, can I? My parents got married at 24. I have a lot of friends who are married already and plenty more who are on their way. Is it slim pickins from here on out? I guess it's a good thing I'm allergic to cats..
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I had dinner with old friends tonight, and, as can be predicted when girlfriends get together for the first time in a while, the conversation soon turned to the old standby-- boys. One of the girls is in a relationship. One just ended one. One wishes she was in one. One is not sure if she's in one or not. As we went around the table expounding on our relationship statuses, there seemed to be only one constant-- uncertainty.
Someday, we'll probably all look back on our twenties and just laugh about how silly and confused we once were and how the answers were right there in front of us all along and we didn't even know it. But today, the future is terrifying and hazy and close but so distant at the same time.
And I think this song gets that.
We made speculation
On the who's and the when's of our futures
And how everyone's lonely
But still we just couldn't complain
And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance
And now I'm just wasting my time
By looking around
But you know I know better
I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I'll make it okay
I'm given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day