I think my grandma wants me to become a hooker...

So, I was going to write a lengthy, depressing post about my job hunt and how ready I am to have financial stability and long-term employment. And then I checked my inbox to find this suggestion from my Granny (In all caps, of course, because to get a message all the way from Florida to Seattle requires some yelling.)


HI. SARAH,

FIRST OF ALL, I HEARD ON TV THAT JMU BEAT VA TECH IN FOOTBALL….RAH!!! AN UPSET!

NEXT, I HAVE BEEN THINKING THAT YOU WOULD BE GOOD IN ANOTHER CAREER…….AS A NEWS PERSON, REPORTER, ETC.

FIRST ALL, YOU WOULD NEED TO BLEACH YOUR HAIR TO A VERY LIGHT BLOND…..NEXT, BUY A “RED” DRESS…..MAYBE SLEEVELESS….BUT AT LEAST LOW CUT ENOUGH TO SHOW YOUR CLEAVAGE.

THEN, WHEN OR IF YOU ARE ON TV …AND SITTING….BE SURE TO CROSS YOUR LEGS AND LET THE DRESS CREEP UP PRETTY “FAR”.

YOU HAVE THE OTHER ABILITIES NEEDED….JUST HAVE TO FOLLOW THE ABOVE….LIKE ALL OF THE CURRENT WOMEN WHO ARE REPORTERS, ETC.

GUESS I’M NOT UP ON THE LATEST….BUT NOT SURE WHY SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE DRESSED LIKE THEY’RE GOING TO A BALL. ONE LADY ON FOX IS GOOD.

WE MAY GET TO SEE YOU IN NOVEMBER IF AND WHEN YOU COME .

LOVE YA

GRANNY